Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize