Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
