she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
