our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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