My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
