My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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