She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
