i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This toilet bowl is my home.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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