Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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