my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
no. you can't hotbox the world.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
