A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
