Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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