we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
