I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
