He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize