a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
