just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
