Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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