i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
