Three words: puerto rican gang bang
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
