We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
