My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Houston, we have a blender
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize