worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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