No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize