just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
