Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
