whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
His nipple licking is glorious
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