you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
