My nipple is on Facebook.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
