try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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