I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
time to smoke my breakfast
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
