If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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