she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
