Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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