Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
