I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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