Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
