Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
