no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
