just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
this will be a night to untag.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
