I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
