Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize