I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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