I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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