You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
