i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
