i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
