the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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