I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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