You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
