you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
