Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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