I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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