I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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