Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
soo... how was my night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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