the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
