i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
