I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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