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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.

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• (760): View more from California

  my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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• (352): View more from Florida

  My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.

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• (420): View more from

  I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me

  (480): View more from Arizona

  its gonna be a great night

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