I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
