Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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