We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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