I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
