And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize