I wish I only lived at night.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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