Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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