Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
