"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
