mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
