Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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