I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize