Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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