she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We have so much sex to catch up on
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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