Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
