shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
