I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
