so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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