i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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