I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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