Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
